A silly parody, but it works during the Christmas and holiday season. It’s corny and clever in its depiction of picture-perfect settings and wonderfully whacko characters.
The near picture-perfect image of Toronto’s Royal Theatre in Little Italy, with its quasi-Hallmarkish festive look, is deliciously lampooned as soon as one enters the auditorium.
But that’s the inherent joke and comic twist of The Unauthorized Hallmark(ish) Parody Musical. We’re not supposed to fall for all these manipulative emotional frills, from the perfect snowfall to the adorable, seasonally dressed corner shop. Bonnie Milligan and Tim Drucker’s fringey book and clever lyrics are all part of the fun.
Drucker directs with a twinkle and a knowing wink in his eye, making it clear none of this is meant to be taken seriously. It’s silly. It’s fun. It’s meant to make audiences laugh. There are clever comebacks in Music Director Joel Waggoner’s quirky-sounding lyrics and titles such as ‘Judge that Cookie’ and ‘Just Kiss Already.’ A slight quibble with Soohong Cho’s sound balance between the pre-recorded music and the singers. There are several moments when the lyrics cannot be heard, which is a shame, as I’m sure I missed some amusing punch lines. Hopefully, that can be fixed as the show continues to its closing date.
Holly (Alexandra Clementi) is from the never-identified Big City and works at a Big Bank. She is in the midst of signing a big corporate merger overseas with a Chinese investment firm when she receives a phone call from her mother, Merry (Alyssa Lyn at this performance), who lives in the never-identified Small Town. Merry runs many seasonal businesses, getting ready for Christmas and the holiday season. She’s run herself ragged and would like Holly to come home to help her.
While Holly loves life in the corporate world, she realizes she must go home. She asks her assistant (and best friend), Martha (Luke Win), to work with the Chinese. Holly travels home on her private plane and immediately runs into the hunky Mark (Sean Meldrum), with whom she attended the high school prom years ago. Will Holly fall for Mark’s ‘charm’, stay in Small Town, and make merry with and/or marry Mark? (Get the play on words?) On top of all this ‘drama’, there’s Cookie (Heidi Michelle Thomas), who is out to destroy both Holly and her mother by winning the Small Town contest.
Oh yeah, there’s a moose on the loose too.
From Taylor Edelle Stuart’s highly visual projection designs to Jason Schneider’s warm lighting, Chris Osborn maintains the essential minimum in his scenic design that rolls on and off the stage. A slight quibble – and it’s only slight – a stage hand comes out at one point wheeling on a table. Although the production is not supposed to be believable at all, that brief interlude brought me out of the scene momentarily, and I had to work my way back in again.
Dressed in Ming Wong’s terrific selection of wintry seasonal accoutrements, the cast looks and sounds great. They also know when to break the fourth wall for a quickie laugh and smile.
As Holly, Alexandra Clementi showcases her belt of a voice with tremendous gusto. She’s the narcissistic perfection of a woman trying to decide whether it’s her career or the hunky high school guy. At this performance, Alyssa Lyn plays Merry, Holly’s mother, with pertinent sass. While Sean Meldrum’s Mark is the dreamboat Holly remembers from the prom, his thick-witted dumbness works beautifully. Heidi Michelle Thomas’s Cookie is a terrific throwback to the Von Tussle bee-hived hairdo foils of the central character, Tracy Turnblad, in the musical Hairspray.
The show closes January 4, 2026.
Is it worth a trip to the theatre to see it?
Sure it is
There’s the sound of Christmas carols, nicely played on an acoustic guitar. Detailed visual projections centre stage show a crackling fire and Christmasy scenes. The Royal Theatre’s warm wood panelling becomes inviting on this frigid evening. The seating area is almost fully packed. That’s a good sign that people want to do something between Christmas and New Year’s.
Don’t look for any great Arthur Miller-type messages because there aren’t any.
Running time: approximately 75 minutes with no interval/intermission. We’re told that at the show, whereas the website says 90 minutes. Take it for what you will.
The production runs until January 4, 2026, at the Royal Theatre, 608 College Street, Toronto. For tickets: hallmarkish.com
PAQUIN EXHIBITIONS & THEATRICALS presents
THE UNAUTHORIZED HALLMARK(ISH) PARODY MUSICAL
Book and Lyrics: Bonnie Milligan
Book and Lyrics: Tim Drucker
Music and Lyrics/Music Director: Joel Waggoner
Scenic Designer: Chris Osborn
Projection Designer: Taylor Edelle Stuart
Costume Designer: Ming Wong
Lighting Designer: Jason Schneider
Sound Designer: Soohand Cho
Props Designer: Brian West
Wig/Hair and Make-Up Designer: Sarah Atchison
Orchestrations: Tommy Fields
Choreographers: Brooke Engen and Tiffany Engen
Director: Tim Drucker
Performers: Alexandra Clementi, Sean Meldrum, Alyssa Lyn (at this performance for Emily Richardson), Levi Stepp, Heidi Michelle Thomas, Luke Witt
